Discover:

In case most people my age haven’t realized, new ideas and creativity is at their best when exams are closing in. Unfortunately its so severe with me that i have serious doubts about myself passing 2nd year. Anyway.
I have written 2 songs in the past 3 weeks, recorded one video (laila by faridkot cover) and most importantly decided on a small but important plan.

This summer vacation cannot be like the last. I cannot travel around to meet people or anything of that sort. I cannot waste days on random chull.
This vacation will be a period of self discovery. Now before this can be passed as one of my corny posts, i’ll say this. I, prabuddh sen, for a long time have wondered why i feel out of place so often and therefore have decided to journey into the depths of my being. cornier?

you see, i haven’t had the chance to explore my self completely. i don’t know where my strengths lie and what my fears are and why I’m afraid of some things. Its going to be training. Becoming more. firstly I’ll turn the cross dominance into ambidexterity as much as i can. Get back my stamina and train for better reflexes. Work on my brain skills. read a lot of philosophy. Learn more about the world in terms of life after college. Beat myself at whatever it is i can do best. (and i can do a lot…if not for my low levels of expertise i could be a freakin’ ploymath)

the running, the guitar, the books, the papers, the research, the system. everything has to be initiated. And very importantly i have to quit the smokes. its too much.
I have some family obligations too but this vacation is about no one. its purely about me.

I wanna live for me for a while. Just do what i wanna do. No orders. I have never been a conformist and i wont be forced into becoming one. I want my life to be my life. For a year. I want it for my self. no friends. No family. nothing. Just me. I wanna feel exuberant about everything. I wanna feel awesome. i wanna feel like nothing can go wrong. I wanna look at world like it cant do anything to me.
i wanna be in every sense of the word. The Mustang.

Souled at the pond

I’ll remember this vacation for two things…i saw my new house for the first time. And I discovered that family is not about love.
We all have our egos and we all have our monkeys.
So this is the monkey theory

When you are doing perfectly well your mind/ soul/ heart does not wish for you to remain in that state and brings out the monkey. the monkey doesn’t know anything about the world except that it has whatever the monkey could want.

So when the monkey comes out you close yourself to all that goes around you and be your own person and live for your own happiness. rest of the time…you’re just human: a physical manifestation of poor expectations.

I don’t know what we are meant to do when things go wrong. should we make them right or should we accept that they are wrong and adjust.