Rythms of Age

Looking at kids these days (younger than myself, I mean) I wonder if their life had the same basic structure as ours did. People talk about generation gaps and changing times but the basic framework of how a boy grows up to become a man is usually the same, really. So I’m just wondering if everyone saw life the way I did (though I am sure that I’m very mistaken)

You were born, naked, wet and hungry, when crying is the physical equivalent of breathing. And then, things just get worse.

Babies are hyper. And babies don’t like other babies. And they want the world to go as per their wishes. And then people say children are cute and innocent. Which is very weird because we as legal adults fail to realize this fact at our age and go on thinking about how innocent kids really are.

At the age of 4 you probably hated the guts of every adult in the world. Especially the ones that hung out with your parents. Your favorite pastime was playing in the mud, chasing insects and doing almost everything that you’d advise kids not to do. But I didn’t think much of other kids when I was 4.

I started observing people when I was 12 I guess. That’s the time when you look around yourself.

You’ve just entered middle school, with loads to study, and meeting loads of new people, new teachers, new subjects, the building, the classroom, and of course the sudden change in your opinion about the members of the opposite sex.. From senior most in primary school to junior most in middle school. A rather heart breaking transition but one which promises (you assume) a whole new set of possibilities.

I guess things were simple those days. It was all about good grades, bad grades, teachers who were sane and those insane (because of you and your bunch, I guess). It was all about playing soccer without passing the ball to anyone and hating the kid who managed to score. Let’s face it. Everyone wasn’t God on the field. Same in class too. The math whizz was probably a loser with a serious lack in life! Who needed a perfect score in math?

But those are the years when you develop an insight into judging people. You develop instincts which probably guide you through thick and thin telling you what to do and what not to do. Who’s the good guy and who’s not? You make a set of assumptions and rules for yourself to follow. You develop a routine timed in your head, to be followed as long as you possibly could. For you the important things were getting a good score and making mom dad happy.

So, unfortunately when things are looking great, ‘it’ hits the fan and you enter teenage and your mind starts shrinking at the possibilities. Adolescence becomes a battle, a life or death mission in unchartered waters .

The word ‘teenage’ in my opinion should be bad from usage. Yea..Adolescence too.. In my opinion it’s very much analogous to a spiteful racist remark, the word being used by the modern middle aged parents to give an explanation that’s too rational to describe a new set of things that could go wrong. Very wrong…

Funny thing is, they usually do. You take a shower too often, you are too concerned about the way you look, you want to look awesome and you think anyone who doesn’t look awesome is worthy of nothing but awesome amounts of underestimation in every aspect of a 14 year olds life… except math maybe. Life changes drastically. Your looks change, you start looking around more, absorb things from people you admire and develop a certain amount of sound judgment. Teachers become enemies, women, the bane of your existence and friends more important than parents.

You have denomination systems then. The nerds, the jocks, the class freaks, the free men and the girls (Cute ones). Interestingly, no one has a problem with this system and I bet it’s still there in every class room of every 14 year old in the world.

School is where everything happens. At home you are a totally different person. You start hiding stuff from your parents and you both know that some things needn’t be talked about. You got bullied in school. The big kid wants cash or lunch or just wants to take your case. You somehow finish school come home in a bad mood. You’ve had a rough day and any rational human should understand that. Unfortunately parents at that age don’t seem to be the rational human beings you wanted them to be so you don’t tell them about the bully and shout. ‘Leave me alone’ was the most popular things to say as far as I can remember…

You develop a major enemy now. It’s called ego. Now that you are an “adolescent” you have an image. But along with it comes the pride without substance and you unfortunately blame your rubbish on everyone and everything but yourself. You hate the world when your pride’s broken and all you want to do is get back at all the people who made you feel miserable, even if it means shouting at mom and dad. The word “misunderstanding” rips your neurons out considering the number of times you use it, after having exactly the right effect on exactly the wrong people.

Now this is just a teaser. Enter high school and now you really know that some serious work needs to be done. Everyone including you has an identity crisis. A severe attention deficit disorder and people making the rashest decision doing the most radical things in order to gain popularity. Aah…that’s the word- “popularity”. The hateful ambition of almost every teenager on the planet. Academics mean nothing. Books are an insult to carry or read. Dating is compulsory and following rules and regulations is embarrassing. But I think the friends you make during this time are the ones that stay with you for a life time. At least in my case, the friends I made back in high school still stick by me like anything.

Anyway, nothing can beat the materialism that’s found in high school. Versace, Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren become ego issues rather than brand names. Creativity comes in form of tattoos and accessories and how one manipulates the school uniforms. Around you everything seems queer and your 17 year old sense of manhood takes over your 17 year old sense of intelligence. Heavy jeans, regular workouts, learning to play the guitar or wanting to do all that- everything works up your brains like fireworks. You want to enhance your reputation and feel good about yourself. You want to date the cutest girl in class. Your friends have crossed over and you are the last man alive. And of course, your head stops working when it comes to girls. You meet her and she smells like mist. You on the other hand smell like mud and sweat. You twitch, stammer and pass out too (if you are lucky enough not to throw up) or you just go insane if you found out she knew your name. And unfortunately there IS a certain unexplainable logic to that. You come down to more rudimentary forms of communication post embarrassment over women. It’s just grunts and glares. And if you mess up, “hell hath no fury such as a woman’s scorn”

At this age, if you are lucky enough to find one, you really start picking up things from your role model. It could be your dad, brother, senior- anyone. Mine was a teacher. Taught me plenty I know about life. He treated me like a man. We had a silent recognition for each other. Mutually respecting each other’s position like gentlemen. He believed in me and I came through. But I guess almost everyone had the role model. The kind of person who would always say something very wise. And I’m glad I was under his wing.

Ahem, anyway,

“Peer pressure” is a word often used by parents and counselors for kids who enter college or even in school. But mostly in college. “The evil that men do” eh? You do things you thought you’d never do when you were a kid. Right and wrong have different definitions. You live a life controlled by variables and clauses.

“Why not?”- Two words that separate men from boys, warriors from cowards, dudes from losers. Corruption takes over you just because the people who seem to take that road are attractive in some way. This is when its time you created an identity. But before you do that you look back at all the years you lived. At all the facts you learnt from experiences and people you knew. You feel blessed at the thought that you have had at good so far and your heart fills with wonder about what will come your way now.

At nineteen I wish I was younger. I wish sometimes I could go back in time and relive those wonderful days. But that way a lot of things I learnt over time and all the experience that has taught me stuff and made me more mature, would be lost. My first year in college is close to its end and I have already changed a lot. Change really is a permanent phenomenon. I have some of the greatest friends in the world. And what I gain here, I shall carry with me for life.

“Change is inevitable…except maybe from vending machines” ~ Anonymous