October 27, 2014
finish this bruvva
Two months to aipg and i am not even at 50 % of the desired level of preparation.
this needs to get over with soon
get a pg
Good thing is that now i am a nicer person.
upcmustang all the way then
Lets to this
February 28, 2013
One may consider bengalis to be some of the most irritating bunch of people and i agree. But that has nothing to do with the fact the Calcutta is the nicest city in the world.
My trip to calcutta was for the Indian Dental Association Conference where i was presenting and also for Operation Smile which a friend helped me observe for a couple of days.
I have one word for the trip.: Awe-fuckin-epic-mind-blowing-some.
the food man. the food.
I call it the Kolkata cuisine because it is a world encompassing cuisine.
I must have eaten a months worth of food in 5 days.
Plus there was operation smile. We performed procedures on children with cleft lip and cleft palate. Along the observership i even treated, worked and learned to use a lot of new surgical and lab equipment.
The most precious part was dealing with the kids, I never knew i would be able to mange them so well. But i have a younger sister so maybe it was easy for me with all the years i had to endure her torturous tantrums.
One thing though. the time when i had to tell a mother that we can’t fix her baby was the worst moment ever. I almost cried when she sat down in shocking disappointment. all i could do was console her in Bengali assuring her that we will find a solution to the problem and i was perpetually depressed till we did find a solution for her. One she didn’t like but accepted.
The conference was fun too. won 2nd place and got ten grand prize money. no biggie. It was not an original research and i had a lot of help.
But the high point was chilling with Santy. git. Got enough boozemaal for a party of 10 people. Man. We went crazy. Plus, Calcutta in winters is awesome to grab a few drinks and getting stoned.
And then there was the pub hopping evening at park street. We went to 6 different and amazing and famous pubs of park street. Google that shit and you’d know what kind of epicness i am talking about.
Well, 2013 is being rather nice to me and i hope it stays that way.
January 24, 2013
i KNEW it. I knew i was gonna feel it when the day came. 23 is not a suitable age for a juvenile-screwed-up-alcohol-loving-stoned-crazy guy like me.
I wanna be 18 again and start over my manhood with a little more flair, a little less stupidity and a lot of accomplishment.
Week after week month after month i have had this crazy thought. What if, in order to be great and successful it was necessary to know how to be weak and pathetic. It takes courage and a lot of stubborn attitude to survive with respect what i survived in the last months of my studying years.
At the same time it takes an extremely immature approach to a problem such as mine to screw things up to the point of no repair.
Repair i did.
I never wanna make mistakes again. Especially the ones that cause trouble for me and my peers.
I don’t even know why i am fucking using that word. Because i have a reasonable explanation in my head to stop trusting people the way i have.
Its funny though.
I should be worried about girls and sex and other shit that my PEERS care about. But i am more concerned with the politics of human emotions. I sometimes think i deserved what i got because i allowed it. Atleast now i have learned that there is always a way around things if you know what i mean.
As a unit of college grads we all have something in common here in MCODS. A perpetual bead of sweat across our brow irrigating the thought fields of our future.
(I should have been a fucking writer. yeah modafucker!)
point is…self esteem seems to have a direct co-relation to in how high an esteem people around hold you. (bad writing i know)
I told xyz the same thing the other day. You can get away with not giving a shit when you are young. but as you get older you become more of a slave to social protocols which were established by the generation just before you and will be unique to yours and will change when you are done,. In short, life is never going to go according YOUR plans. Others have plans too and everyone’s gotta be aware
January 2, 2013
So 2013. I love the new year. Because it starts with january its party after party and then my birthday and then some more partying.
But then again all this talk about new year resolutions going around and i don’t want to be left behind!
So lets make resolutions that i KNOW i can keep
firstly- I am not going to live in fear of stupid people anymore. I am done being afraid of how another man/woman’s stupidity can get me into trouble. I am gonna turn 23 and i gotta fucking act like it
secondly- i am never gonna drink in the afternoons. It is stupid. It makes no sense
Thirdly- I am gonna get rid of all the bad karma accumulated over the years and give it back to people. This one’s gonna be hard and will probably take a lot of time. But then baby steps….
Fourthly- Start working on my health. My body needs it and so does my mind.
More are to come but i have to really think about it yeah. Need to keep resolutions i CAN keep. Faith is a wretched concept. So believe in reality and cheer on (for yourselves and me ofcourse!)
December 30, 2012
with a mensa iq of 138, i feel i am wasting my time with my current peers.
Too bad santi/ib/tiktika/ram/sahir is/are not here. He/she/they would have understood more, relayed more, established more.
It is rather insane. I wish the world was not so narrow minded and juvenile. I wish the world believed in logic the way i do, the way people with a sense of propriety do.
I despise humanity for what it has become. Forget the delhi rape case. This country has worse problems. One of which is lak of interest in the greater good. Lack of a collective conscience.
It is beyond repair. we need a re-establishment.
More than that….my company needs it.
I have given up on hate. Atleast my condescending attitude may prove to be an effective incentive for reaching out and understanding the lack of logical thinking that is displayed around here.
I do not want people to always agree with me. All i want is for them to challenge me at a level that i deem worth thinking about.
Wishful thinking eh?
wistful thinking it is, ladies and gentlemen. And i am sorry i couldn’t do shit about it.
October 22, 2012
I dont get it. I am an intern. Life is supposed to be care free. So what the FUCK went wrong?
was it moving out? was it moving out with shanky? was it the alcohol or the sudden change?
was it the loss of your belongings?
was it the dirth of money? is it your bike? is it a lack of friends? Is it a lack of girlfriends?
fakeness and prowls and creeps and sundowns and all that is horrible and gross for all that is terrible and foolish. The ending is nowhere to be seen
I have forgotten how to be happy. I have forgotten how to correct wrongs. my health is gone and my mind is on its way
Maybe thats why the first couple of years were awesome.. I wasn’t worried about the future.
September 2, 2012
So graduate huh?
65 % in final year. Not bad really.
So what now? Do i continue wasting time ? or do i make some changes. New house….new equipment. A change in the surroundings.
Be better, faster, stronger, then?
keep a promise man. Keep it cool.
love the world or at least pretend. play nice. Let it all go no more further. Be careful. There’s plenty to learn. Buy some good books. Save money. Drink less frequently. Eat good food. Smoke occasionally. Build a routine. Work out. Because you might have a shot at AD core.
We need a few principles. Like a few ground rules. I don’t know what they are but i shall find out. Change takes time but its definitely possible. I shall not give up at least thinking about it. I will not be a waste. I shall continue growing. Dr. Sen. Has a nice ring to it. Yeah.
My batch did well on the whole i guess. Plenty of 2nd classes this time. But that’s cool i guess.
Mom is about to resign from her job in a few days. That’s OK too i guess. I do not want her working in a place that crappy where the boss is a senile old man with leadership issues. Good riddance i say. I am sure she’ll find a good position somewhere else. Things are mad as it is in the corporate world.
Change is good. Real good. And it shall be for the better. Time will tell. Because this time, it shall be my ally. There is no room for foolishness. Perfection is the key. And all i need to do is…become a good professional. With adequate presence of mind. And excellent skills and vast knowledge. It doesn’t come cheap. But i don’t mind paying. But it needs to be done.